Step 5
Are we helping children manage their feelings… or just telling them to say sorry and move on?
Tantrums at tidy-up? Shouting because someone looked at their block? That’s the typical ‘little bodies, big storms’ stage. Let’s help them learn to ride the waves, not sink in them.
What can we do?
Spot the signs - clenched fists, flushed cheeks, shouty whispers = warning bells.
Name and tame - “You’re stomping. Are you cross?” (Don’t skip the obvious.)
Co-regulate first, talk later - breathe, calm, then chat. The calm part may take a while.
Practise outside the meltdown - storybooks, puppets, role play.
Create calm zones - not a ‘naughty step’, but a reset space.
Reflection Prompts
Are we teaching children to feel their feelings or just hoping they don’t scream the place down?
Do we pause to name emotions - or rush straight to “calm down now” mode?
Are all staff consistent in their response to big feelings, or is it a lottery depending on who’s nearby?
Are we coaching kids to regulate - or just managing the chaos after the meltdown?
Activities to Try
Emotion Check-Ins: Use a daily “How do you feel?” board with faces or colours — great at drop-off or after transitions.
Feelings in Stories: Pause during familiar books to ask, “How do you think they feel?” and “What could they do next?”
Regulation Role-Play: Use teddies, dolls, or puppets to act out big emotions — “Teddy’s cross because someone took his toy. What can he do?”
Breathing Buddies: Lie children on the floor with a soft toy on their tummy. Watch it rise and fall as they breathe slowly. It’s cute and it works.
Tiny Toolkits: Give children access to calm-down items (squeezy balls, sensory bottles, noise-cancelling headphones) and teach how and when to use them — before chaos hits.